Can you last 5.4 minutes? If you are a man and live in the UK then you are average says Dr. Anand Patel who takes a deep dive in a new sex survey and offers his advice
Who does not love the results of sex surveys? But in the case of the recent millenary survey on sex, the results revealed a surprising lack of guidance for young people about their sexual concerns.
The results of the latest National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Styles (Natsal-3) showed that one in ten sexually active men (16 to 21 years) and 13% of women of the same age reported a painful sexual problem of three months or more in the last year.
The most common sexual problem that caused distress among men was reaching a climax too fast (4.5%). For women, it was not having an orgasm at all (6.3%).
As a general practitioner running a sexual dysfunction clinic it was disappointing, but not unexpected that a little more than a third (35.5%) of men and 42.3% of women who reported a problem had sought help – but seldom from professional sources.
More than 10% of young men and women said they had avoided sex because of sexual difficulties.
One of the main findings for the children was that they were worried they would not last long enough – and ejaculate too soon. And a third of them were really distressed by this. Porn and peer pressure make sexual escapades that last less than ten minutes seem embarrassingly short.
But the numbers may surprise you. Scientists like to measure everything of course, so they have studied the average time for men to come after vaginal penetration and their 5.4 minutes in the UK. Although rapid shooting is common in young adults, men between 18-30 years old tend to last more than 51 or more (6.5 minutes vs. 4.3 minutes).
So it’s actually quite normal not to last very long. Frankly, you might have a knackered piece and your partner can get bored. How you are sexually excited, how much time has passed since you last came, whether you have had a drink, whether you have had many previous games, whether it is new, if you are nervous, More factors can make a difference in terms of how long it lasts .
It is no surprise then, if you are 16 years old with little experience and a very hot partner you have been snogging for hours that may well shoot very quickly.
There are some men, however, who will continue to quickly shoot any stop-start or squeeze techniques trying to use an anesthetic spray, masturbation beforehand or your grandmother’s thinking.
These men tend to have a specific problem in which their brain does not recognize the “point of no return” – the feeling that a man learns to recognize whether he needs to slow down or he will climax. This can be trained on some as mentioned above, or an anesthetic spray can make you feel less sensation so you ejaculate less quickly (but your partner may go numb too so use a condom).
However, there are some men who are so distressed by it that they decide on medication and this is available – usually an antidepressant that has a side effect of slowing down the time it takes to reach orgasm. For example, doctors may be able to prescribe dapoxetine, a licensed medication that increases ejaculation time by 2-3 times, or brother medications such as sertraline which can increase 5 times or more.
You would need to talk to a sexual function specialist however to discuss these medications. They work better together with other techniques, including sexual therapy, because sometimes there are psychological reasons why men come too fast, or have been so concerned that they avoid sex at all costs. This can be very useful for regaining your confidence.
And just so you know – premature ejaculants tend to make excellent lovers as they recognize that they do not last long once they have penetrated so they make a lot of effort in foreplay and imaginative sex play prior to penetration. Too many people feel that insertion is the main event when in reality – is what connects the two of you.
For more advice, check out the website of the Association of Sexual Counselors.